Attention: As of midnight, Dec. 31st 2009, the fauxhawk becomes the new mullet. Anybody not acquiring a fauxhawk by said time risks being nicknamed "2003" or "Hot Topic".
Also, Emo Kids need a new haircut as well, it being the end of the first decade of the new millenium, the Hitler Haircut is no longer a valid expression of anything individualistic.
It is a Hitler Haircut.
You are too old to be running around pretending to be the romantic lead in an Anime comic.
Even all the grunge guys cut their hair in '96, so, your turn now.
And stop wearing your sisters pants, she looks really hot in skinny jeans-you don't, you look like a really ugly version of that hot chick from Juno.
With a Hitler Haircut.
And alot of bad tattoos.
Who took a giant dump in her pants.
No, really, pull your fucking pants up.
It isn't offensive, you just look like you shat yourself after a long night $4 cans of PBR and cheap 'Mexican' food.
Cake wrote a song about you idiots 15 years ago, get over it already, you aren't a rock star unless you're a rock star.
On a related note:
1. Hot Topic is not punk rock.
2. There will now be a mandatory 100 question test before being allowed to purchase a studded belt.
2.a-exceptions shall be:
That amazingly
gorgeous Irish/Braziilian chick that works at the
Whataburger. A girl that hot gets to wear whatever she
likes. It looks cool on her.
2.b- failure of the test for the third time will
result in Jello Biafra and Lee Ving showing
up at your house with flame throwers.
Also discontinued will be the Giant Indie-Rock Beard.
You are not Jim Morrison, Iron and Wine, or Band of Horses.
And, please also note, that once these changes go into effect, anything being the 'new' anything else will also be removed from the lexicon of anybody with half a brain.
