Abuse and the 99%

.”..So, there is this sort of never- ending thought that goes through my head, this mobius strip of subsoncious yammering that just makes me want to lay down and take a fucking nap all the time. ......”
 
   It is that constant voice from your childhood. The voice of your parents or wolves or whomever what raised you up to be a person of a wolf. That voice that tells you always: "you are loved", "you are smart", "you are pretty", "You are a winner", "you are the greatest", "you are a loser", "you are a victim", "you are loved conditionally"....or "you are controlled", "you are a piece of shit".
  You can use your pathetic little monkey brain to either accept or reject reality. In the case of how your parents raise you, how they raise you, how they lead you dictates how you feel about yourself, whether or not you know it, or believe it to be true or not. What they say goes-and grows into your grownup brain. That is why you need to be loved unconditionally, that is why you need consistency and discipline. That is why maybe you looked up to your coaches and teachers more than your parents.

   If your little voice is always telling you you are a piece of shit and you are always making bad decisions because of it. It 's not your fault.

   That is the  thing that sucks about this is that it isn't your fault. It is the fault of whoever made you that way-and just a Jeffrey Dhamer knew what he was doing, often times the people who are at fault for making you feel like shit and act worse knew what they were doing. They were exerting power for their own pleasure.
It is their fault. The blame lies with them.
Unfortunately the responsibility lies with you.
Period.
You pay the consequences-and unless you can document, in detail, how they are responsible and sue them, or have them arrested, you only have one recourse: Take responsibility for your life and don't allow them quarter or forgiveness unless they earn it.

   Nobody said life was fair, nobody ever promised Easy Street. Some get lucky, some are average, and some just get the shaft-and it makes no difference what race or class or religion.
   Empathy and compassion need to be extended first to the victims of psychological abuse-and by that I don’t mean just the ones who weren’t ever touched by their abusers, I mean all of the ones who never could show proof.
  What is worse than getting hurt, bullied, belittled, abused, raped, beaten?
Having that happen and no one believes you?  That is the final nail through your heart.
  Love those people first and most, they are the ones who need it most. Those who have suffered longest.
   Those are the people out in the street right now, y’know?
The ones who always thought that their leaders would do the right thing if shown the way. Hoping against hope that the weight of their responsibility would force them to drop the act and face reality.
This runs deeper than greed.
This is how the 99% feel about their ‘leaders’.
They aim to hold them accountable, or walk away from them and let them die alone.

Vigilantism or Natural Reaction?

Read this story to understand this post.....


 Legally you can't go around beating people-even if they deserve it, but this is why his abuse should be a mitigating factor, and why more people need to think about these sorts of things and look at them in a more in depth manner:
The worst component of abuse-at least the most lasting component of it is the psychological aspect. Not just the psychological scars from the rape, or the broken trust, but the mental control, and intentional breaking down of the self by the perpetrator. The direct psychological abuse keeps happening whenever the victim is around the predator-whether or not the rape continues, and almost nobody other than the victim and the predator ever recognize the abuse-especially if the abuser is smart.
I was severely abused psychologically and emotionally abused growing up-even as an adult-by my parents, but they rarely ever did anything that, as a kid, I could point to specifically, and never in front of others. I was only about 3 years ago that I finally pulled the plug on that relationship, the head game had worked so well, that I couldn't be convinced to do it before, I was still laboring under the whole "family is the most important thing in the World" myth. It has only been recently that I had to acknowledge just how sick and evil my parents really were-I still don't want to think about just how bad they might have been. I was very fortunate to have creative outlets in my life, and a grandmother who was wonderful or I surely would have wound up dead or in prison.
The cognitive dissonance caused by the control by the abuser over the natural innocence and confidence of a young, exuberant kid creates enormous frustration and anger or rage, and especially in this day and age where it is politically incorrect to get angry, it must be held inside, where it festers and amplifies any obstacles or troubles the victim may face in life. This is a circular escalation that can infect and effect every part of of the victim's life. I doesn't go away with facing down the issue. Sometimes facing down the issue-or the abuser.
I often thought that if I had given my father the savage, yet non-fatal beating he so truly deserved when he was young enough to have it not look like elder-abuse on my part. The outcome would have probably gotten everybody therapy, and maybe me out of that house.
I just turned 40 this year. I have never been married-never even close, even thought the only thing I have ever really wanted-ever since I was old enough to remember thinking about it, is a wife, and a house, and a dog. The average duration of my romantic relationships is about 3 weeks. As soon as they get a glimpse of what they are dealing with they usually vanish into thin air. The girls that are patient enough, and caring enough to accept what I have been through can't cope with my personality. The games the psychological abuse plays with confidence and self-esteem are unbelievable. The ability to think that you have found trustworthy people who almost always turn out to be more abusers is mind-blowing. The only people who can relate to you are supremely screwed up-and often borderline dangerous if not outright psychopathic...I sleep with a gun because of the people I have met in my life, not because I am paranoid or suicidal, but because a Federal Agent recommended I do so. People keep company with people who understand and accept them-in my case, that group was the wrong one...thank God I figured that out by myself.
 I have trouble keeping the same job for very long because it involves getting to know, and dealing with people who can't ever fathom what I have had to deal with.
I have never, and plan on never harming a hair on anyone' head, and it has been nearly 15 years since I figured out that it wasn't ME that was the problem and started taking steps to deal with my abuse...but even then I didn't know exactly WHAT was making me feel the way I did.
I am not saying I agree with what this man did, I am saying that I understand, and can't really blame him.